i realise dat all dis time i hav been in denial n some tings dat ive done reli showes me dat im in denial of myself. im always doing things oppositely from what im supose to be doing wen im in denial. some tings r jus too hard to acept like e day is coming closer now n is as close as ever dat i cld even smell it(amani u noe wat im talking bout).

idk y but everybody is suddenly far from my reach dis days n im feeling like a child dat all her toys has been taken away from her. outside im a cheerful, playful n nonsensical child but deep down inside im dying as silently as ever. i had always tell amani dat she shldnt b living to please everybody but i myself is doing it every single day. keeping my sorrow as far as possible from every possible eyes dat may b seeing me.

i hate myself for being me. being me jus makes me more sicker as my body siriusly cant take it. protecting n defending n taking in all e pain for e ppl i love n care is somehow my duty n seeing dem happy makes me happy even though letting dem go but ders still hurt n idk how but my heart still hasnt give up so........ pls don take me 4 granted n pls bear in mind dat im very fragile like a glass. 

cant say how much i luv you ppl n pls don let me down